Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
