the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
