god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need a beard to bite.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
