Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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