She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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