I love black thongs
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
