Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
