Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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