They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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