ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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