I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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