After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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