Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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