I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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