Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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