dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
