I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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