i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well I just put wine in my tea
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
