I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize