He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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