Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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