If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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