hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize