she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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