I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
