she woke up with a sticky ear
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
