our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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