Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
