at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
