can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize