hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize