god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
