Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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