You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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