The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize