Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
3pm strippers are depressing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
