you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
