I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
