Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize