if i can run in heels then i can drive
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
