he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
