chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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