he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there is glitter all over my balls
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