Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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