dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
