Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Congratulations! We have a period
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
