fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my shit smells like andre
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
