GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
