i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
