Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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