ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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