paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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