Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
