I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize