dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
True college students do jello shots in the library
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
