I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
