I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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